Seriously… Which part of me sweating says I’m interested in some dude’s lame pick up lines? And it’s bad enough at the gym, where there are other people, so it doesn’t feel truly threatening. It’s way worse on the trail! I would really like to know what makes men think it’s a good idea. At best, it freaks a woman out.
Here is something men appear not to think about: how it comes off to a woman. Whenever I get catcalled on the road, I remember a part of Jerry Seinfeld’s routine, which goes something like this:
So a car drives past a woman and the driver honks. What does he expect will happen? She will kick off those shoes, run after her and say ‘Thank god you honked! Otherwise I would have never known how you felt!’
Yes, that’s how I feel every time I hear a guy bugging me when I’m on a run. I once complained to a (male) friend of mine about general harassment while I run. Background: I live in DC and summers get ridiculously hot and humid. It’s easy to start chafing, so I frequently run in knee-length leggings and sports bra (like the ones that are meant for outer clothes, not underweary or anything). When I was venting, the friend in questions told me that maybe I should just wear a shirt and cover up, so the guys won’t look. NO!!! In what world is my choice of wardrobe a permission for a random guy to approach me while I am clearly busy??? Let’s be adult about it: men need to be civilized human beings and control their urges. Mind your own business, gentlemen!
I have been harassed plenty of times, but one sticks out in my memory, mostly due to a happy conclusion. It was many years ago, when I was in Poland. I went for a run (back then, I used to wear baggy shorts and baggy t-shirts – clearly nothing to look at) and I was passing three guys sitting on a bench, drinking beer (mind you: full daylight, middle of a day, not far from civilization). Two of them started to catcall me and be general jerks. To my surprise, the third one told his buddies to shut up and leave me alone (which they did). I don’t think he will ever know or understand how much that little gesture meant to me. We definitely need more men like that!
When I talk to men, most of them never give much of a thought to things women do when they leave for a run. Every woman has to take into consideration her safety. And I’m not talking just the cars and wildlife. It took me a long time to get over my discomfort with running around the National Mall in the morning. Honestly, what changed my mind was biking there and seeing how many other people are there. But I doubt any man ever gives it a second thought.
Solutions for women are relatively ‘simple’, such as run only in ‘safe’ places, such as well-lit paths where there are other people or carrying pepper spray. Sadly, that doesn’t always work – there are plenty of articles out there saying so.
What can men do? Start by not being creepy and don’t talk to women on the road unless you know them. Trust me: you aren’t flattering anybody and have zero chances of success with a female runner randomly seen on a road. Maybe try not to look like you are following them when there aren’t other people around? And most importantly: keep an eye out for shady people who may be dangerous to fellow runners and if you somebody in need of help, please help.
I can only dream that one day, women will be able to go wherever they want without being harassed. For now, please stay safe out there!